Allison Holker has shared a painful revelation about her late husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, uncovering a troubling truth just days before his funeral.
Weeks after Boss tragically took his own life in December 2022 at the age of 40, Holker made a startling discovery in his closet. Hidden away were a range of drugs, including mushrooms, pills, and other substances she had to research online.
“It was a deeply unsettling moment for me,” Holker confided to People in an interview published on January 7. “There were so many things I found in the closet that I didn’t know existed. It was overwhelming to learn just how much had been going on that I was completely unaware of. It was a scary moment, but it also made me realize the extent of his struggles. He was hiding so much, and I can only imagine the shame he must have felt.”
Holker revealed that, while she knew Boss had used marijuana during their marriage, he typically retreated to the guesthouse after their children—Weslie, 16, Zaia, 5, and Maddox, 8—went to bed. She described this as his “alone time,” a period for him to recharge.
“That was his space to unwind, and I accepted that,” she said.
After Boss’ death, Holker turned to his journals, hoping to understand the depth of his pain. In the pages, she learned of his inner turmoil, including the possibility of childhood sexual abuse.
“He was battling so much within himself,” she explained. “He tried to self-medicate to cope with those feelings. He didn’t want to burden anyone with his pain because he loved everyone so much. He wanted to protect them from what he was going through.”
Holker, who will release her memoir This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light on February 4, explained that by sharing her story, she hopes to encourage others to open up about their struggles.
“Through conversations with friends and reading his journals, I’ve realized that he experienced so much as a child and never addressed it. It’s heartbreaking to think that he never confided in anyone, never sought help to heal. I hope people dealing with similar challenges will find the courage to step out of the shadows and know that they can be OK.”
Last month, Holker commemorated the second anniversary of Boss’ passing on Instagram.
“Our angel @sir_twitch_alot is watching over us, protecting us. You are forever in our hearts, Stephen. We miss you,” she wrote. “Two years without you, but you are always in our thoughts. We love you.”
